Once again, it’s time for a quick look at all the strange, odd, stupid, funny … but true … aquatic-related stories we missed over the past 12 months.
I’ll Show You!
Back on January 6, 2017, a York, Pennsylvania woman was parked at a boat ramp, when police, whom she had fled from earlier for running a stop sign, approached her vehicle. Instead of calling it a day, she hit the gas and drove into the Susquehanna River. As her car flo
ated away, she ignored officers but continued drinking the beer she had in the car. A fireboat was able to corral the woman and bring her to shore. – Associated Press, January 6, 2017
Let’s Not Use This in the Commercial
A surfer at Avalon Beach State Park on North Hutchinson Island, Florida (near Vero Beach) was attacked by a shark — not exactly a strange occurrence in Florida waters. “It held on for less than three seconds,” said the teenager. “I didn’t even have a chance to hit him or anything.” The teen was wearing a new band with magnetic technology that advertises (past tense, we assume!) it repels sharks away from swimmers. The teen received 44 stitches on his arm. — cbs12.com, December 30, 2016
So, There We Were, Walking Along Minding Our Own …
On October 3, 2017, dog walker Julie Edwards and her charge, Mollie, were strolling along a beach in Brean, Somerset (England), when Mollie came running up with her latest piece of what we can only assume she thought was driftwood. “It was, well, a body part,” said Ms. Edwards. To be specific, Mollie was gamboling about with what police suspected was a complete set of testicles and penis. The matter was referred to the local coroner for further identification. For what it’s worth: in 2016 three human feet were found on a beach in nearby Bath. No word if Mollie was involved. — avonandsomerset.police.uk, October 3, 2017
Who Wears Black Socks with Sneakers?
Charleston (SC) police received a call from a woman about a teal-colored size-nine Adidas sneaker … which had been sitting on the dock for nearly a week. Oh. And it had what appeared to be a bone sticking out of it. The foot on the other end of the bone was clad in a black sock. Police were said to be checking records of boating accidents and missing persons reports to see if there might be a, ahem, connection. — Associated Press, May 6, 2017
Come on Baby Light My Fire
Maybe this is why Jack and Rose were standing on the bow of the Titanic. Titanic ‘expert’ Senan Malony, said research (www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgwHTKBdNCc) has led him to believe that a fire in hundreds of tons of coal stored in a three-story-high bunker behind Boiler Room 6 had self-ignited, rendering the hull brittle in the exact area where the ship hit an iceberg. — www.telegraph.co.uk, December 31, 2016
When They Say “Use Your Head,” Well…Don’t
A Tunica, Mississippi, man, whose truck’s transmission got stuck in park while backing his boat into the water, did what he’d done before: climbed under the truck to knock it out of park. Only this time, his head became wedged at the tire as the truck rolled down the ramp. Fortunately, the man’s 14-year-old son and two friends reacted quickly and were able to lift the truck off the man’s head. The man survived and the kids were being hailed as heroes. — WREG, News3; August 28, 2017
Maybe You Can Find Somewhere Else for a Dip
The increased popularity of a local swimming hole, known as Devil’s Hole, near Cedar Grove, New Jersey, has local officials a tad concerned. According to a report on NorthJersey.com, the hole “possibly contains runoff from sewage treatment plants” from Cedar Grove and neighboring Verona. — NJ.com, August 20, 2017
It Looked Like a Rock to Him
Tasmanian Parks and Wildlife officers were called to Newstead (Tasmania) for a rather large troublemaker. A fur seal, dubbed by locals Mr. Lou-Seal rambled through town sitting on cars and causing several thousands of dollars (AUD) damages to cars in the neighborhood. The seal, which weighed around 600 pounds, was finally tranquilized after ambling through the town of Launceston. He was returned to the wild upon waking. — News Corps Australia Network, December 26, 2016
You Didn’t KNOW He Sold It?
The manager of a Toms River (New Jersey) marina was indicted in Philadelphia by the US Attorney General’s Office. Seems that, between 2013 and 2016, the gent managed to sell approximately (approximately?) 13 boats without the knowledge of the owners, and converted the proceeds from the sale to his personal use, including to pay off debts. It is alleged that man robbed the boat owners of their property valued at more than $2 million. He faces a statutory maximum penalty of 20 years’ imprisonment, three years’ supervised release, $250,000 fine, and $100 special assessment. Additionally, he will be subject to restitution and/or forfeiture of money and substitute assets totaling $2,163,000. – Federal Bureau of Investigation, September 2017
A Whale of a … er … Well, It’s a Big Tale
Two young elephants were washed out to sea on July 23, 2017, and were rescued by Sri Lankan Navy sailors and divers. This was the second such incident off the island in as many weeks! In this incident, the two young elephants were slowly escorted back to the beach. The first incident was a single grown elephant and the rescue took 12 hours. In both cases the currents were thought to have swept the mammals out to sea when they were crossing one of the area’s many shallow lagoons. “V4vxQSXUj0. The waters around Trincomalee, located on the northeast coast of Sri Lanka, were used by Allied forces as a staging post during World War II. The area has a high concentration of blue and sperm whales … while the surrounding jungles have herds of wild elephants. — Agence France-Presse, July 24 2017